Retrospective

Well, the car is packed and I’m ready to head back to California. This has been a very productive week (not on the work front unfortunately so I’ll have plenty to do this coming week) but the kids are all setup in school, Josh and Billy have already started. I have a local phone number and mailing address established, some potential work starting to line up, start of the business documents filed, and other miscellaneous tasks completed. That was a long sentence, but then again, this was a long week.

Didn’t really start the trip quite as I had hoped, but looking back on it now, I’m happy with where things are at the moment and am very excited for what the future could hold. One always has some items they wished they had handled differently, but now I think things are just where they need to be for now to ensure the long term contentment and happiness that I have been searching for. I’m overall pretty awesome (and humble), and as long as I keep being me, then things will have a way of working out exactly as they should (whatever that might be).

With each passing day out here I am more and more thankful to Lisa for the opportunity she is providing me to pursue my dreams. It is going to have quite an impact on her life while the boys and I work on getting our own place, but I know she does it without a single bit of regret and nothing I do could quite convey my gratitude to her for it. I’m not always the easiest person to be around (but then again who is) and when things really start to build on my I do tend to turn more inwards and contemplate what it all means. That doesn’t mean I am depressed, or sulking, or any of the other handful of titles that are generally used to describe moments like that. It simply is me, regrounding myself, and figuring out where I need to focus my energies to continue my trek forward.

Her kids are also really starting to find their way into the deepest parts of my heart that I generally keep fairly reserved. We all seem to think our own kids are absolute terrors, while others around us see the good in them. With her kids around lately it has helped me to look more objectively at my kids and what they are doing and try to understand it for what it is without my preconceived notions about what they might be “up to”. I know this whole arrangement can’t be the easiest on them, but as kids tend to do, they just roll with it and come up smiling on the other side (and that smile is contagious no matter how much turmoil is going on internally for me).

Brent flies home tomorrow (been WAY too long for him to be gone, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but having Lisa’s kids around helped that a bit, especially Zach who reminds me so much of Brent). With the similarities they have, Brent and Zach are either going to be great friends, or bitter enemies. Either way, it’s going to be something to see! I can’t wait to get back out here with Brent and let all the kids start hanging out. I am especially looking forward to having Brent and Lisa finally meet. Since Brent is such a natural flirt (not sure where he gets it) and Lisa being so open and loving to all the kids, I just know it’s going to be a good experience.

OK, I’m kind of rambling and need to hit the road, got quite a drive ahead of me. I just want to make sure that everyone knows how much I appreciate them and the sacrifices they are making. From my friends back in California who are encouraging me to chase my dream, to Lisa and her kids giving us the opportunity to take that chance. I love all of you and will always appreciate your contribution to all of this.

Gerg