Lost (and found) thoughts…
I woke up last night, about 3AM, with the perfect idea of what to post. I knew I should have taken a moment to at least jot down a note to myself to remind me of what that thought was, but alas, I’m not that brilliant and here I sit attempting to write another witty/insightful/awe inspiring post. Looks like that won’t be happening today, unless those rusty gears in my head suddenly mesh and I remember what I was going to write.
Life is funny, sometimes you start thinking one way, only to find that’s not even remotely the fact (or maybe it is and you are just letting your mind run away from you again) either way, something in the air is different, and I’m not even sure I possess the ability to influence that difference.
It occurs to me that while I leave these posts vague, somewhat due to the fact that I am not quite fully prepared to open myself up quite that much just as yet, but also as a means to allow what I write to possibly inspire/influence people (usually complete strangers that may stumble across this sometime in the future) to take action on their lives, or at least consider possible alternatives, that they wouldn’t have without having read this. However, that vagueness, also allows for severe misinterpretation by some, and could be the cause for the change in the air for that matter. Whatever it does or does not do, I will continue to write in this manner, until such a time as I am comfortable revealing a bit more about what my true thoughts and feelings are.
I just remembered!!! Guess this long post is about to get more long winded…
Splitting up. Almost everyone in life has gone through a split up at one time or another. For quite awhile afterwards, you invariably get people who aren’t aware of it who comment about “your wife”, or “your husband”, or “your love” and you are forced to make a decision as to whether to tell them or not that the person no longer holds that title. What I find of most interest, is in the WAY so many people may address this. I quite often say nothing, and just nod, or say that I’ll pass that along, or whatever the case may be. My feeling is that IF I feel this is something this person should know (maybe it’s the 3rd or 4th time they’ve made a comment like this so it is polite to tell them) then I will tell them. Usually all I say on the matter is, “Oh, we are no longer together” and leave it at that. If they ask, MAYBE I’ll expand on it with a, “It just wasn’t working out”.
Most distressing is when I hear people make a comment that, “He dumped me.”, or “She just took off” to just random people. I only see one reason to make a comment along those lines, and that is to “get that person on your side”. Why does there always have to be sides when people split up? Aren’t we supposed to be adults? If they are important enough to know any of the facts (as the person reporting them sees them) then they would most likely already know. Sure family and close friends are going to make decisions, but the bottom line is the ONLY people that should be making decisions on the matter are the two directly involved. So why attempt to influence another persons feelings towards someone else? Just because you no longer are in a relationship, shouldn’t in any way deter a third party from interacting with that person.
So when you find yourself in that situation, where you feel you should inform someone about a break, first ask yourself, WHY do you need to say anything more than, “We are no longer together” and leave it at that? Let them make their own decision on other people without your attempt to sway them one way or the other.
Just my nickels worth.
Gerg