The Gergorian Rant

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I’ve managed to get us a place to live, we are heading to California this weekend (actually as soon as I submit this I’ll pack-up the laptop and we’ll be on our way) to get some of our stuff and bring it out here. Still trying to find someone to put a hitch on my van cheaply so I can tow a trailer back, otherwise we will be bringing just a small bit since all the moving expenses have severely depleted my funds.
Anyway, here’s the video of me showing you the house. I’ll post more when I get some more time.
Gerg

Well, I made it past the big 4-0 without too much issue. We did have a bit of excitement at the house as the fridge decided that would be a great day to shut down and thaw out all the meat we had in the freezer. I then took myself out that evening to some fairly quiet bars. I did get to talk to some people and began increasing my circle of friends out here. I am also starting to get some bites from all the work I have done the last few weeks on trying to get my name out into the public eye. I think things will start to get moving here shortly and with any luck I’ll start having the opposite problem of being so busy I am not getting sleep because I am working on clients tasks and not just because I am putting so much effort into spreading the word.

I couldn’t help but reflect back on my birthday a year ago. This year being a milestone birthday I am still not sure if it is better/worse/or really doesn’t matter that it was so quiet this year. I knew it was more than likely it would be a quieter birthday just due to the fact that the majority of my friends are out in California and I don’t know that many people out here yet. Last year’s birthday (as I posted before) was one of the best I’ve had in recent memory. I am just hoping to one day find the person that understands how much more the basic acts mean to me. I’d much rather have someone do those “little” things randomly from time to time than to plan out some big extravagant event that almost never goes off as planned.

This was one of the first years nearly every member of my family got ahold of me on my birthday, the only one missing this year was my sister, but I can excuse that, I figure she could miss another 10 or so birthdays and we MIGHT be closer to even on who forgot to call the other on their birthday. All the calls/texts/emails I received meant more than any of them realize and once again just reinforces the fact that I like to simple things versus people remembering to put together some huge surprise party. I do think I’m going to have to make my 50th quite the event though since this year was so quiet. All the people most important to me made sure to let me know they remembered (some WAY earlier in the morning than I would have preferred, but to be fair, I like to receive calls from some people no matter WHAT the time might be).

Well, I’ve gotta wrap this up, just trying to get into a more consistent posting pattern. Right now I have to go pick up Brent and Zach and get Zach over to his soccer practice. I stopped off at the local Safeway (conveniently with a Starbucks inside) to go over a few emails and review a website for a potential new client and thought I’d post. They have free Wi-Fi access here so it works out well. The one thing I noticed is that connecting makes you open your browser and accept their terms of service. Well, I have a couple add-ons in my Firefox browser (the one causing this “issue” I believe was the No-Script plugin) but I would click the “I Accept” button only for the next page to pop up and I couldn’t get connected because of an exception the site was throwing. So I opened Microsoft’s Internet Explorer instead and went right through. Just one more reason I use Firefox, despite having to sometimes jump through some hoops, if this had been a malicious site Firefox would have stopped it from being a problem whereas IE would have just opened the door to my computer and invited the virus/malware in.

All right, that last paragraph rambled off into utter confusion, so I’ll stop now and go get the kids. Talk to all of you soon!

Gerg

It’s been quite awhile since my last post, I’ve had things I wanted to say, but just never really sat down to put them out there. This will be a bit of a hodge podge of different thoughts that have been drifting through my head these past few weeks. Not sure it will make much sense to anyone, but then again, I don’t think I ever started to write this blog for anyone BUT me in the first place. That’s not to say I don’t mind people reading it (I actually welcome it to tell you the truth) but the bottom line is this is MY place to put down some thoughts so I can come back to them in the future and remember where I was (in my head) at different points in my life.

It’s been about two months now since “the move” and for the most part I am not regretting it at all. I have to say that it might have been better planned out, but then again, if I had waited to plan it out I probably never would have done it, and I think I needed it as a bit of a “cleansing” for me. Things haven’t taken off quite like I had hoped, but then again, no new venture just hits the ground at full speed. I am beginning to see the fruits of my labors and it does give me hope, but I have a long hill to still climb. One factor I hadn’t thought out properly was obtaining a place of my own without a “real” job. No one will rent to someone just starting a business, so the past few weeks has been spent in search of “work”. Nothing in my typical field as I don’t want a conflict of interest to build, nor do I want a job that I think about after leaving it at the end of my work day. I want something I show up, they tell me what needs to be done, I do it, and go home to focus more on my new company. There are a few things coming up that I think will do wonders to get the word out and start building up a client base, but as I said, all these things take time.

I have discovered over the last 5-6 weeks that things don’t always happen as you would hope (I knew this fact, but it’s been REALLY reinforced). I’ve had people let me down (personally and professionally) and I have let people down. I don’t like telling people I will do one thing, and then not being able to meet that goal. I have always done everything in my power to give the most of what I can, but sometimes you just over commit yourself, financially, physically, and emotionally. Work I had planned on being a strong backbone of my getting started out here didn’t turn out as was originally expressed to me (and it could have been I didn’t ask the right questions before making my expectations) but the bottom line is some income that I was anticipating did not pan out as hoped. It has made me have to rethink a lot of things, and change directions somewhat. I’ve always been the eternal optimist, and I remain to be the same way, but that optimism has taken a bit of a beating lately. I WILL make things work, I just can say for sure what kind of timeframe that will be. That is unacceptable in some aspects, and so those are the points of this whole endeavor that are foremost on my mind. But I can’t focus on them at the sacrifice of the “big picture”, so I am doing my best to balance them all out and just wait for everything to start falling into place just like I know it will.

On a more personal level, I did start this whole thing with a slightly different mindset of where my personal life was heading. Since then, it has also been turned on it’s ear, and I have had to rethink who and what are important to me. That’s probably not the best of phrases and I don’t want anyone reading anything more into it. All I mean to say is that people I tried to have a slightly lower importance in my head have become so much more to me in a personal sense. Having the ability to talk to someone about whatever is on my mind and be given some straight talk back has been invaluable these past months and is probably my biggest regret of moving out of California. I also know, however, that had I not moved, I am not completely sure things would be as they are now. I don’t know what that all means, and where it might lead, all I do know is the people that are around me right now, giving me support and love, mean the world to me and any one of them could ask anything of me and if it is at all in my power to give it to them I would. I owe so much to so many people right now for allowing me to take this chance and be there for me as I struggle through the things that perplex me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to truly repay them, but I’ll do my best to make sure they know for the rest of my life how much I value their friendship and support while I try to figure out exactly what it is I need from life.

I have a big day coming up this week. I am not anywhere near where I had hoped I would be by this milestone in my life. But it’s been one heck of a ride, and I’m just waiting to see where it all ends up. I don’t even know WHEN I’ll have the slightest clue as to how it will turn out, but it’s been fun, and I still wake up every morning anticipating that “this could be the day it all falls into place”. Stick around, I’ll let everyone know when that day comes, and you thought we were having fun NOW? Just wait…

Gerg