The Gergorian Rant

Just barely two weeks ago moving to Arizona (or anywhere far from “home” for that matter) was just some little thought that had been in my head for years. Who could’ve guessed that a simple short vacation would have spurred such a dramatic series of events. It’s not a surprise to anyone that knows me that I’d always hoped to someday be able to start my own business doing computer work, thus giving me that ability to live almost anywhere I want, and to live life instead of letting life live me. Well, when you are a parent (and a single one at that) your dreams aren’t always attainable, and you make sacrifices for the good of your children. Maybe because of those sacrifices you end up not being able to provide for your kids as well as you had hoped, but as virtually every parent can attest, we knew what we were signing up for and we wouldn’t trade the unconditional love of our children for anything. It’s a far greater dream to have kids that love you than anything else you might strive for in life. So you take the “safe” path through life as much as possible. Knowing you can place food on the table every night becomes more important than things you might wish to have or dreams you might want to chase. You always have that thought in your head (I did anyway) that if only you could take the plunge the end result would be ultimately worth it for not only you, but your kids as well, but reality grounds you and keeps you from trying.

Well, life being what it is you just keeping going through the motions and before you know it the kids are starting to head off on their own and you realize you just might be able to take some of those risks. So I decided to start the ball rolling and see what kind of response I got and how many hurdles I had to jump over. That decision was made just a little over a week ago and I thought it would be 3-4 months of planning and figuring everything out. Then something happened, the stars lined up, someone decided it was time for me to get a break for once, something (and I’m not going to question it any further than that but just appreciate it instead) and every thing that I thought was going to be an obstacle to overcome, has turned into either an insignificant speck of a detail, or (and this is more surprising to me than anything) it’s instead turned into one more blessing.

One of the toughest tasks I had ahead of me was informing my current employer of my plans (and I realize some of the things I write in these posts overlap each other, forgive me, but each time I start writing I just go with what the gut tells me and see where the article ends up). So I sat down with them earlier this week and gave them a “heads up” about my plans, I still thought it would be months, but knowing the magnitude of replacing me I wanted to let them know as early on as possible. And I don’t mean that to sound like I am so full of myself that the company is going to fold without me, just that I know I do a lot of things here, some are done with such a sense of routine that not even I realize what they are at times. We all decided it would be for the best to start looking for my replacement to get a feel for what kind of person we could hire in to take over my responsibilities. One qualm I had about it all was that in the IT industry you get a lot of chest banging, and I-know-how-to-do-this-better-so-we-need-to-restructure-it-all-from-scratch attitudes. That is NOT what this company needs, our network may not be the most “textbook” of layouts, but it allows the company to function and grow (we’ve been in a growth state basically since I started almost 17 years ago so we must be doing something right). So I didn’t know what we might find, and with today’s technology, there are a LOT of tasks that don’t even require you to be physically located near the systems you are working on. I’ve had an assistant working for me, and he’s a sharp kid, but he’s is just that, still a kid and has lots to learn about making business types of decisions. So his taking over my responsibilities would be quite daunting for him, but hiring someone in above him is also somewhat counter-productive to both him and the business.

After talking some more with the owners, and receiving their support, blessings, and best wishes of making this all a success for me. It was decided to try something a little new. Let my assistant take over the tasks that require a physical presence at the shop, and I will maintain my duties in everything that can be done from off-site, as well as being available at all times to mentor and guide him as he takes on new tasks and expands his knowledge. This decision should ultimately benefit everyone, the company retains my knowledge that is almost impossible to just pass over to a new person but instead has to be learned over a LONG period of time, I get a chance to do some free-lance work which gives me some income so I don’t have to jump at the first job that is offered to me (or maybe not even require me to begin a position with a new company but rather strike off on my own and give owning my own business the proper attention it requires), and my assistant gets a chance to prove what he is capable of, and slowly move up into taking over more and more of the duties I now perform. In turn, the company also doesn’t get some new person in who decides their way is the best and starts attempting to reinvent the wheel. I know our systems here can be improved, but it has to be done safely so as to not affect shop production in the slightest, and unless you TRULY understand the entire network, then knowing how and when to make those improvements becomes an almost impossible task.

As an added benefit, my initial monthly expenses when moving out there will be minimal since we will be moving in with some friends for awhile to give us a chance to feel everything out and make sure things are properly taken care of. It’s incredible the way that things have just fallen into place, and what I thought was going to happen either closer to the end of the year or beginning of next year, is now looking very promising for the next month or so. There are still some details to iron out (my older boy’s mom, still lives in this area so visitation schedules have to be worked out, and I will figure out something since I am the one making this decision, I’ll also potentially be leaving my daughter and grandson behind as I don’t know that she and her boyfriend would want to move out that way (we’ll learn all that tomorrow night when we discuss it). I feel bad that so many things are in place and I am just now talking to my daughter, but as I said, I had no idea things were going to just mesh together quite so smoothly. There are also other facets of this whole decision that will come to light as the time is right for them to do so, but every part of this decision just feels so right I think that maybe I was just lucky enough to take this chance at the moment I did. A year ago, or a year from now it might not have worked quite so well. I’m just thankful that so many things are coming together, and I am the happiest I have been in a LONG time and can’t see that changing anytime soon.

Thanks again to all my friends and family without whose support I would have never had the guts to even consider starting on this life-changing journey. I love all of you and while I don’t tell you all enough, I hope you know it.

Gerg

Today was a good day, but also a difficult one. I had requested a meeting with the owners of my company so I could let them know about the events starting to happen in my life. After 15+ years with the company and being a part of the familiy atmosphere that the company is based on, I didn’t want them to hear from other people that I was considering leaving. Not to mention the way rumors get started and by the time word had gotten back to them who knows what kind of dastardly, insider trading types of things I would have been accused of. So we sat down and I told them that I am seriously looking into relocating to Arizona. I couldn’t have asked for a better response from all of them (which is one of the main reasons I have remained with this company, and also one of the toughest parts of leaving it behind.) I received their full support and best wishes in whatever it is I am trying to go after. I don’t even know what that is, but just know that I have to go look for it. The fact that they are already discussing how I can maintain a tie to the company by doing work remotely where possible, helping to train my replacement, all the way to being told that should this endeavor I am starting not work out as I hope, that I always have a place to come back to. Lots of companies wouldn’t do any of those things, but I started with them when there were less than 30 employees (there are over 100 now) and are facility was just a SMALL fraction of the size it is now. It was comforting to know that my work for them was appreciated. And the fact that I already knew it was, but hearing them actually state it, just gives one a feeling of euphoria that consequently makes decisions like the one I am currently doing that much harder to pursue.

After work I had to go pick up my 12 year old son from his mother, this is the one child I am most unsure of how we will make things work. His visits with his mother are important (I know she doesn’t think I feel that way but I do), but at the same time, as a parent, I also have to do what I think is right for the entire family. Up until this time I didn’t think a move like this would be possible with the shared households for the kids, and other factors like that. In the last few months it’s become quite apparent that it is time to change in order to improve things. Like I stated in my last post, I don’t know how this might work out, true if I were to stay then the outcome is fairly safe, I will continue to be employed, the kids can continue at their current schools, but I just feel that change is needed and now is the time to make that change.

As with any decision such as this, there are myriad reasons behind it, and affecting it. I can’t go into details of all of them yet, but over time they will each come to light in turn. Whether the reasons are valid, or even justified, is impossible to determine until much further down the road. So I just have to gather as much information as I can, use my years of experience in both family, work, and social aspects, and make a choice that I think benefits the most people. I hope I’m right, as I don’t think any parent would want to know that a decision they made affects their kids in a negative way. Because of the support of my friends and family I don’t think I could make a choice like that because they are already stepping up and offering backup alternatives should something not go as smoothly as I would hope. From offering my oldest a place to come back to California and stay should he decide he wants to finish his senior year here (as of this writing, he is all for the move as well, in spite of the fact he will be a senior this year). To people letting me know that they are there if I need someplace to turn while everything is still shaking out. Again, I already knew all these things, but just hearing people state them puts me much more at ease and confident that no matter what path I choose, the support network will always be ready to assist should it be needed.

To all my friends and family, I just want to take a moment to say thank you for your support as I struggle through trying to make sure I do this right. If it weren’t for all of you around me, I wouldn’t have felt strong enough to begin this quest in the first place. I love and appreciate all of you.

Gerg

OK, I’ve finally got WordPress installed on my new site (which you obviously know about otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this) but it’s Gergorian.com. I was previously writing on my hicksconnection.com but decided to start up gergorian.com and MY site. Hicksconnection will eventually be used as a place for family to post things, and this site will be for MY stuff.

I plan to probably alternate between written and video posts depending on what I am doing at the time and how much easier one format would be than another. I’ll always post notices about new posts I put up on my social network sites (Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace) and you can watch my youtube channel for anything video related (but hopefully I will always also put the video here so this would be the “one-stop-shop” to know what’s going on with me.

I’m writing up a new post that should be up here soon giving a status update. I am always willing to listen to any input people might have (doesn’t mean I will DO what you suggest, but it does mean a lot that you care to comment or give your feedback).

OK, so I’m off to write my new post. I’ll put all the different ways to keep up with me below, once I get working on the site layout more I’ll get them all in the sidebar so you can always use this website as your way to get caught up with me.

Greg

Twitter: @gergorian
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gwhicks (secured gwhicks before I thought of using gergorian, so now I gotta see what I can do to correct that).
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/gergorian
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/therealgergorian