Gerg… it's all about me!

If I keep repeating that to myself will I eventually believe it? This weekend is going to be spent putting together Brent’s first science project. I’ve searched around online until finding a project idea that I think he’ll find entertaining while he still learns something (the science behind it won’t be so great, but it’s my thinking that the real reason behind 3rd grade science projects is just to build up their interest and give them the basics of how to methodically approach a question to find answers).

What are we going to do for his project?

Burn candles. I had never thought about this question before, so I’m kind of curious for the answer myself, but we have gotten 2 identical tapered candles. Placed one in the freezer last night, and shortly we will take it out and light both of them, keeping tabs on their burn rates to see if they burn at the same speed. Does freezing candle wax cause it to burn differently? I’ll have to let you all know in my next post. I’m going to cut this one short now so we can go start getting setup for his experiment.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Gerg

In case anyone actually noticed, I haven’t posted a new article, or uploaded a video in quite some time. That’s due to the fact that I’ve been busy trying to build my branding. In doing so, I have made a commitment to myself, that I will be posting regularly. Each week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday there will be a new post here on Gergorian.com, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will post new articles on Tekamba.com. Be sure to subscribe to both of my blogs and you will know everything that is going on with us. Also, please follow me on Twitter, my accounts there are @Gergorian and @Tekamba (don’t think I need to spell out which is for which blog?) I’d like to get my follower counts up, so tell everyone you know to hop in and add me to their follower list!

Tomorrow I am heading down to the local Chamber of Commerce and becoming a member. I’ve spent some time learning more about the city I now live in and, as with most cities, there is a lot of background to discover. You can’t just get your information from the local news sources either (unless you like to just find out about what they WANT you to know) I prefer to actually get as many facts as I can and form my own opinions. So as I continue to learn about the town, I think the Chamber will help me to get more involved and active in not only the direction my career takes, but the possibilities that will be available to each of my kids as they continue to grow and start their transition into the “real world”. We can’t just sit idly by and hope things turn out for the best, but rather we need to take an active role in making sure at the end of the day we can honestly tell ourselves, “I’ve done everything I could today to make my part of the world just a bit better.”

One thing I’d like to discuss is why we continue to struggle here, when I know I could return to California where I can instantly start making decent money again, have all my old friends around me again, and lower my stress levels by a significant amount. And the answer is… because.

Because the kids are doing well in school, Brent is really starting to make huge strides, and while that could be attributed to the fact that he is just getting older so he’s maturing and that would explain the improvement, but I’m not willing to risk the progress he has made.
Because we all  love the town we’ve moved to, we have all the things we might want, variety of restaurants (not that we have money to GO out to eat), lots of places to go explore, weather is just awesome. The view from my back porch is just astounding, and it only gets better if we take a short drive and can then hike off into the mountains to discover nature.
Because I’m not ready to give up on my dreams, true, I could try to start my own company anywhere else, but the simple fact of the matter is I can see a NEED here for what I do, and when you put it all together it just feels right.
Because I see the potential this new town has, while it is rich in its resources, it retains that “small town feel”. People actually wave to you as you drive past. It’s not uncommon to get greeted by random people as you walk around in public. There isn’t any of that hectic lifestyle feeling, you can just enjoy your life, take things in pace, and discover the beauty that surrounds us daily.

It’s a tough road to hoe at the moment, but I truly believe that the end result will be well worth the challenges we are facing in the meantime. Once this bubble bursts, and the work starts coming in, I have a good feeling it’s going to be a floodgate opening up and it won’t be long before I am having the opposite problem of more work than I can handle. While it sounds like a good problem to have I’m not really looking forward to it. For that reason I’m a bit thankful for the slow start to it all at the moment so I can get my feet solidly under me and be as ready for the upswing as possible. I know it’s not likely I would ever truly be completely ready, but we can hope for the best!

I know everyone understands and supports the decisions I’ve made, and I wouldn’t have had the strength to make them without all of you behind me. I do miss the life we had (flaws and all) and especially miss all the people that we used to hang out and see all the time. I could lie and say we will always stay in touch, but I’m a bit more honest about things than that. Our friendships WILL change, but again, I think in the long run it will be for the best (and not to sound self-centered but I mean it will be the best for my family, which is after all the focal point of everything I have ever done in my life).

I can’t say we will NEVER return to California, just that I’m not quite ready yet to “throw in the towel” and I am starting to see a light flickering at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes you have to tear things down to their basest of elements in order to see as clearly as possible. I believe the boys and I have done that, and we are now coming close to seeing those struggles come to fruition. I’ve begun working more closely (think maybe my English teachers are groaning there, that phrase just doesn’t sound right, I’m working closer [THAT"S IT!]) with my older brother (who’s a genius at business) and with his guidance I believe we are approaching the corner. I realize I should have reached out to him a LONG time ago, but better late than never, right?

I’ve been listening/watching a lot of motivational speakers recently, and the current one I have in my player is the audio book, “Crush It!” by Gary Vaynerchuck, if you haven’t heard of him, do a bit of Googling. He has quite an interesting story, and has 3 rules that he lives his life by, and claims that if you do the same then you can’t help but excel in life and be a success. He doesn’t define success, because that is dependent on what is important to each person as an individual.

But his 3 rules to live by are:

1) love your family (I’ve got that one!)
2) work superhard (I think most of you agree that when I am passionate about something I have this one too [sometimes to a fault])
3) live your passion (working on this one)

So that’s it, I think those are great rules to live by, if you haven’t read it I recommend getting a copy of it, or better yet, listen to the audiobook version. Gary himself reads it, and he has an electric personality that most people either love or hate. But he’s OK with that, because he remains true to himself (guess maybe that’s a fourth “unwritten” rule of his). So it makes me realize that while I might not exactly “conform” to the standard business views, I will ALWAYS be me, and in the end, the people who really matter will appreciate that they know exactly what to expect when dealing with me and THAT will bring results.

Gerg

Here I sit, just under 3 hours left for 2009, and I can’t help but be reflective of the year almost behind me, and the changes it included. The year started on a pretty high note, I had a wonderful job with the best bunch of coworkers anyone could hope for. I had recently begun dating a women I could happily say was also one of my greatest friends, a Yin to my Yang, and my kids were all happy and healthy (oh, and I had recently been informed I would become a grandfather in the new year). Nothing that would give even a hint to the drastic turns that awaited me.

(On a quick side note, I don’t neglect to use names in these posts because I am ashamed or afraid of people knowing exactly how I feel about them, but rather because I know some would rather I not mention them directly.)

First my dating life twisted when she decided maybe we weren’t quite meant to be a “couple” and while I could tell the decision was hard for her, but being a person that was able to put logic into her actions I knew she felt the decision was for the best in her eyes, I supported the decision and we stopped seeing each other. This led to my finding another great person in my life that I am happy to still call a friend, we dated for a bit, and she also felt we weren’t quite right for each other, but would be better as friends. We continued seeing movies together and spending whatever free time together we could. I, of course, always wondered “what if” but was perfectly happy as long as she remained a friend. The first lady and I began talking again sometime around mid-year and I was once again glad to have someone that I felt so attached to in my life and whatever capacity that might be.

I still felt slightly lost and overwhelmed with everything, being a single parent, wanting more from my career, not sure where my love life was going. Summertime came and my two older boys took their trip to visit their cousins in Arizona. I had to fly Brent out to see his mother in Florida for the summer, and since I couldn’t get the flight I needed from California, I flew him out of Phoenix then drove up to pick up the older boys and drive them home. Little did I know that trip would be the catalyst for the biggest change of my adult life. Even the events that led to me spending a long weekend in Prescott Valley rather than just a day or two now seems predestined. But that weekend, for the first time in several years, I actually felt relaxed and at peace with myself and everything going on around me.

I joked about moving out here that weekend, but once I returned to California, that feeling just grew stronger that I was meant to make a change. The more I looked into it the more it seemed obvious that I was needed to pursue this adventure. I knew I would miss my friends (though never just how much), and that it would be a struggle financially (again not just how much) but felt driven to at least take a chance so I wouldn’t look back later in life and wonder ‘what if’. Though, to be fair, I guess no matter what decision we make we will always be able to insert a ‘what if’ into the scenario. But I finally committed to the move, and we took the plunge.

The support from my old employer was humbling, from my friends was heart-wrenching. I knew they wanted the best for me, but everyone is entitled to a bit of selfishness, and they let me know how they felt. I am well aware on one hand, they all hope I make it, and that I find all the wonderful things in life that I am meant to, but at the same time, a small part of them hopes I return to California. Not because they want to see me fail, but because they don’t want to lose me as a close friend. We can all make the comments about how we would never let that happen, but everyone knows better than that, and that life doesn’t always allow us to keep in contact with the people we want as much as we want to. Add distance into that equation it it becomes even tougher.

I don’t know what 2010 has in store for me, but I know that no matter what may be around the corner, I can rely on my friends and family to be there when I need them most. Just knowing that has been the basis that has given me the strength for all the change this year. I may end up having to return to California, where I know work awaits me, probably not the same job I left behind, but a job none-the-less, or I may find my niche out here and the work will start flowing that will allow me to experience life more fully than ever before. I am doing a bit of dating, and still have some thoughts that past relationships may build back up into something that will last a lifetime. Whatever life holds I am just doing my best to allow it to reveal itself to me in due time, without forcing the issue or “making” things evolve into something they’re not. If there is one thing I learned in 2009, it’s that you can’t make everything work out like you would hope, all you can do is continue to be true to yourself, make sure you put yourself out there a bit, and be open to the twists and turns that life throws at you.

You never know what a decision today could mean in the future, so just live each day as openly and exuberantly as you can, and in the end I am confident it will all work out for the best. With that in mind, once again I am going to remind all my friends how much I love and cherish them. I am not going to start naming them directly because I will inadvertently forget to mention someone and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. Those of you close to my heart I am sure are well aware of it, and don’t need me to reaffirm that love for you. So whatever you’ve got in store for me 2010… BRING IT!!! But keep in mind, I’ve got myself a pretty great support system, so do your best, I’ll be bouncing right back at ya asking if that’s all you got!

Love,

Gerg